2.04.2010

at Coffeehouse

Not reading, but writing, again.

I am writing in the grip of a feeling, something like a long White man standing there.  Or like a Brown boy’s rage whose tongue laps up the remaining gossip.  I am here.  I might be Maria, but less virginal.  I might be her, with the language rolling into a one, two, four.  

What is smoke, anyway, and for how long?

I’ve been invited to tea.  I've been remade.  A trek I can’t make out and can’t ask her to make; pilgrimage-like.  

What is wrong with my language these days? Is it really that surreal?  

I cannot drive.  Don't know how.  The ocean doesn’t make me nauseate.  I don’t like the way I am writing.  Risky moves of outsiders.  A barista talks and although I have no time, technically speaking, I sip Earl Grey.  

What is it about the word stoicism?

It’s hard for me to find the romance, not that I ever have, but I’ve been looking…

I no longer love like I used to, or believe.  I have a CD to deliver and songs to dance to with a young man.  A person, but little.  There are songs about love on that CD and I wonder, is this a wrong choice? Should it help to build the blinding narrative? I will be there to offer up difference, to deconstruct.  

God, has the modernism finally left me?


1 comments:

Michelle Puckett said...

i love the new look of the blog and i love that you are writing again, even if u aren't reading.